Chuck Norris Jokes.

[Cam]

Post Chuck Norris jokes here.

1. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

2. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

3. Chuck Norris is widely considered to be the 2nd black president. if your thinking "Chuck Norris isnt black" your dead wrong. stop being racist.

4. If you spell Chuck Norris in a game of scrabble, you win. Forever.

5. In a battle between Batman and Darth Vader, Chuck Norris would win.

[chriskarate]

Here are some:

1. Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.
2. Chuck Norris was once put on the wrapper for a toilet paper company. The company field tested it but it didn't work because Chuck Norris doesn't take crap from nobody.
3. When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down
4. f you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
5. Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer; too bad he has never cried.
6. When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
7. Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
8. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
9. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
10. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
11. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
12. After taking a steroids test, doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
13. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
14. Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
15. The original name of the movie was Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris, but the producers realized that nobody would ever watch a movie that only lasted fourteen seconds.

And many more

[ltndragon]

1: Theres no such thing as the atom bomb. Chuck Norris just jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
2: A man beat chuck norris. seconds later, he was awakened from that dream by a roundhouse kick to the face
3: Due to the laws of relativity, in theory, Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you yesterday.
4: Chuck Norris has no chin, only another fist.

[Cam]

Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Chuck Norris to live in the White House.

The reason for this is because Chuck Norris had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.

[macster]

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

[Cam]

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

[badboyfanclub]

I bet Chuck Norris gets this every single time when he goes out. If was a waiter and I had the chance to serve him lol I will keep telling those jokes.

[Ozzie]

Haha I have a corny one my friend made up so it's fresh and unknown but it's not that good.

You know the drink called a Shirley Temple? There was once a version of it called a Chuck Norris but no one would drink it because it was way to strong. lol It only makes me laugh because it's so corny.

[Cam]

Jul 2, 2010 16:51:47 GMT -5 Ozzie said:

Haha I have a corny one my friend made up so it's fresh and unknown but it's not that good.

You know the drink called a Shirley Temple? There was once a version of it called a Chuck Norris but no one would drink it because it was way to strong. lol It only makes me laugh because it's so corny.

That barely even makes sense.

[Ozzie]

Yeah, I know. But if you knew my friend you would laugh.

[Sean]

A few of these were funny, but the whole Chuck Norris joke thing is played out.

[Elijah]

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.